A Magician's Baton With Bristles

Early in this process I rejected the action of purchasing expensive supplies.  I felt I needed an idea of their ultimate usefulness.  Buying sale or discounted items, boxed basic sets, store brands or lesser brands, helped to stock my studio space.  Also, buying the kid's version  of watercolor brushes, markers and pastels for example, helps remind me that this is done for fun as well as for saving money.  In gifting myself with some small artist's toy, the child within me is honored and feels cherished.

An awareness of past behaviors suggested replacing the pattern of having gathered all the best supplies and then trying to shame myself into starting that project which sparked the interest.  Usually the shaming resulted in my abandonment of the idea in mind entirely.  Soon I was distracted by the newest inspiration that captured my attention.  Repeatedly, all the ingredients were brought together for a great recipe.  A recipe that never makes it into the mixing bowl because the whole point was lost during the assemblage.  All energy went into research, funding, and procuring.   Remembering this, I am open and ready to try a new way.  

The idea that presents itself is this; observe what is actually used from my stockpile of "toys and bargains".   When needed or when able, I replace those supplies by making purchases of better quality versions of the individual item.  As this relates to paintbrushes, I find currently that the larger sizes are more pleasing to work with.  They provide more coverage than I've experienced before and force me into a certain freeness in rendering which I enjoy.   This freeness changes the details into broader interpretations of themselves.  Right now the larger brushes see a lot of use.  I could consider replacing them.  Yet, I have older rattier brushes that tend to be favored as well.  They provide certain effects, hold just the right amount of paint for the task at hand.  Maybe they are favored because they are already broken in.  Then again, the old brushes might hold as a charge all the creative use they've experienced.  A magician's baton with bristles.  I learn to value materials, as well as my experiences with their use, in different ways.

I accept today that many times the answers come when taking an action.   All the planning provides a sense of safety and little risk.  In wanting to learn from experience,  I risk giving up my need to plan.  Giving up "safety" for something more.